It’s hard work
Listening is high up on the list of desirable qualities in various styles of leadership. Coaching, consensus, democratic, servant, dialogic, strategic… all these styles require strong listening skills. Other styles are more ‘tell’ than ‘listen’ - pace-setting, charismatic, authoritative, visionary - and leaders with these styles will primarily assert their view. That works fine to an extent because followers want vision and purpose, and sometimes it is easier to be told what to do rather than be asked to engage in working it out. Listening to other people takes energy so it’s tiring to make the effort of listening to everybody else. Leaders who don’t listen well often justify their behaviour by claiming they are inspiring, educational, time-efficient, or simply making things easy for people.
It can feel weird to become more of a listener
When a leader consciously changes their style to listen more, it can seem strange. Staff are not used to the new approach and might be unsure whether the boss is sincere or not. There can be extended pauses while the leader bravely refrains from comment and people wonder what the matter is… It’s best to let them know what you’re trying to achieve before the conversation.
The benefits of being a good listener are many. A leader who is good at listening will score highly on respect, trust and liking with staff, clients, peers and seniors.
The listener to staff:
She earns respect because she gives respect in the form of listening
She learns more about her staff’s motivations, needs, ideas, or problems
She finds it easier to have appraisals and performance conversations because
first, there’s a structure that involves both parties having their say,
second, the conversation is unlikely to feel rigged or scripted, and
third, the discussion allows the person being reviewed to hear themselves too - when answering an open question, we discover what we think. If the appraisal or review only offers closed or leading questions, this out-loud thinking doesn’t happen.
She becomes a role-model so that her staff listen well to each other, even when she is not around.
The listener to clients, internal or external:
She prevents small problems from becoming big ones
She spots opportunities early and can leverage resources
She co-creates solutions that are likely to be a better fit than imposed ones
She builds long-term partnerships
She innovates by having insight into market needs or industry trends.
The listener to other leaders, her peers:
She gives and asks for diverse points of view, taking time to understand all the positions
She seeks to understand different needs in other parts of the organisation
She can more likely broker or create effective solutions when opportunities arise
She becomes an ally to all, and an influencer
She is part of the mechanism that helps the smooth functioning of the system (a team player)
She gets ahead quicker, having the respect and support of her peers.
Listening to those who decide about your job
A listening leader may find that listening upwards, to seniors, is complex. A leader always has a higher authority to listen to. The Board listens to its shareholders and other stakeholders. The divisional leaders listen to the CEO, and so on through the organisation, whether it is flat, fragmented, matrix or hierarchical - there is always someone to whom you should listen or else your job, sooner or later, is in jeopardy.
Listening in decision-making
If a leader listens less and tells more, then they may become autocratic. History has a rich store of examples of leaders who stopped listening, then fell Hitler, Mussolini, Mao were all hubristic dictators who met their nemesis.
If a leader listens to all the diverse voices and does nothing with what they hear, they are stuck in indecision and may need some help making progress.
If a leader is too easily swayed by the loudest or most powerful voices and does not attend to the still, small voice that speaks from their own conscience, they risk making ethical errors.
Listening to power
The stakes are very high if a leader does not listen to those who wield power in their lives. This person might be your boss, a promotion panel, your spouse or friend. Listening is very hard to do with an open mind and heart, because the messages can be tough to hear. And a leader does not want to seem weak or vacillating or to not have their own mind, just as much as they don’t want to ignore or override the voices of that influential stakeholder. So the delicate balance is between listening to the stakeholders’ views, asserting their own views, listening again and (with this kind of humanitarian effort) a dialogue that will produce an agreeable, implementable outcome, and a stronger relationship.
To listen well is to show mastery of leadership. It requires humility and self-control. It needs flexible deployment of skills and behaviours that have to be developed and honed. It requires the ability to be simply interested and the desire to honour the human being who is talking while you give them your valuable attention.